Every minute of every day you wait patiently, a quandary,
Oh, there is nothing as loyal as a pile of laundry.
A constant source of something to do,
You beckon to us, always, ever anew.
A vibrant array of colors and textures, a kaleidoscope, oh glory!
Each lifeless, limp item, a garment with its own story.
A muddy lacrosse game. A long, sweaty run in the heat.
A record of what was for dinner, literally at our feet.
Bodily functions that prove we are human?
They ferment in the pile awaiting our viewing.
Oh Laundry, you document our every day.
A montage of the years we have shared along the way.
From baby yellow poop to toddler brown skids,
From spit-up to puke, you must think we are pigs.
From sour smelling t-shirts of sweet pre-pubescent tweens,
To the full-on funk of the now grown-up teens.
Piles and piles of laundry with a smell so strong,
We have to sort it with a gas mask on.
Laundry, you remind us of our blessed sense of smell,
And what it might be like if we end up in hell.
Sheets, towels, clothes and so, so many socks,
You are why we end each day with whiskey on the rocks.
The folding is mind numbing, but, oh, the sock pairing,
It’s the root cause of so much of our swearing.
Yes, Laundry we love to hate you, which isn’t quite fair,
For the minute the washer breaks, we panic with fear.
And you teach us profound lessons of life,
Like, how fleeting clean, folded clothes are, so much strife!
How nothing on earth lasts forever,
Except dirty clothes, which will end never.
Yes, Laundry, you are our boulder, and we are your Sisyphus,
“How long,” we cry, “can we possibly keep doing this?”
And yet without you would be awash in our own dirt,
So, we shall be at your side until the very last shirt.
-The End (It never ends.)
Related Posts
I love Christmas and I love buying gifts for people, but put…
If the title of this doesn’t instantly traumatize you, you probably weren’t…
Something happens to my husband when we go on vacation. He turns…
Nestled deep within the quiet suburban setting, we come upon the natural…
I guess I expected it would be easier this time. After all,…
Not to be totally paranoid, but I’m pretty sure September is trying…
Hey Kids, Feel free to leave your stuff wherever you want this…
For the first time in over five years we are sending out…
After being married for two decades, I’ve noticed a couple of things…
For the first time since my daughter started her senior year of…
Almost daily, I read the news and I quickly lose faith in…
So, I’m going to India. Such a simple sentence but I can…
You know how when you were growing up you said you’d never…
I don’t have insomnia. I feel like insomnia is like depression, we…
There’s an age-old trick in the conversations of married couples dating back…
Showing your kids the movies you grew up with. What could go…
I love my family, and I love eating food, but put them…
I find it strange that we revere years of marriage as an…
Dear Forties, Hello. Hello. It’s me. I know things have been over…
This is the somewhat true story of how my husband eating an…
You know when you are feeling fat for you how you spend…
If you’re anywhere near middle aged, you are assaulted on the daily…
Forget Tiger Moms and Helicopter Parenting and the latest parental wackiness I’m…
I happen to love teenagers. Both the ones I’ve worked with for…
The Vidalia. Like The Onion, Only Sweeter. February 15, 2016 by M.Blazoned…
You ever wonder if you are doing a good job raising your…
I don’t know about you but I’m overwhelmed by all of the numerical…
Anyone who knows me knows that I’m a prime candidate to hate…
My thighs and I have a troubled relationship. There is a great…
Do you remember when I posted this photo on Facebook? When I…
Remember Happy Fun Ball from Saturday Night Live’s greatest commercials? “It’s Happy…
If you grew up in the 70s and 80s, you are well…
The last year of my life has been, let’s say, tumultuous. I…
It’s not your parents’ midlife crisis. Hey, how’s your midlife crisis going?…
My philosophy of life is somewhere in between Buddhist compassion and metaphorical…
Years ago, we were living in a teeny tiny, can’t stand up…
…or a Seinfeld Bond. Either Way. Today is the day that 20…
I have no idea why we care about some things deeply, and…
RULES FOR BEING MEREDITH Handed Down From Current Writing Software 1. You…
When I was growing up, July 4th was my favorite holiday. Forget…
Did I say September was the worst? I might have to retract…
Resumes are kind of my thing. My entire career has been evaluating applicants…
Turns out 45 years old is just 45 years old. An age…
So, you’re headed out on a family vacation this summer. Great news!…
I was just thinking about jugglers. Because, of course I’m thinking about…
My husband watched this video of a woman removing a cyst from…
‘Twas the week before Christmas when all through the house, Stuff was…
Locust? Famine? Floods? You wish. Nope. The Aging Apocalypse is not the…
I was a tour guide in college. I worked in admissions. I’ve…
Christmas is my favorite holiday. No surprise. It’s a lot of people’s…
Are you the default parent? If you have to think about it,…
I get it. You don’t want a minivan. The entire idea of…
I’ve mostly made peace with all of the perceived perfection I see…
You’re not going anywhere until you survive the week before, which is…
I have never liked horror movies. It was one and done for…
I saw an ad for some kind of tutoring for kids, I’m…
Don’t get me wrong, I’ll happily take a massage and a shout…
Dear Friends, It is the first day of the year and of…
I recently got a crown. We all know there only a few…
You’ve got to hand it to Gen Xers. We have been so…
I have a vague recollection of my life before I was applying…
This is my 13th consecutive year with a child in elementary school…
Last week I was trying on a dress in a godforsaken dressing…
“Enjoy every minute of it” is the most well-meaning piece of parenting…
We weren’t doing anything wrong. We weren’t drinking or doing drugs. We…
Someone started a comment to one of my blogs with, “Not to…
There are so many things about myself I “should” try to change…
Have you heard about Hamilton? The run-away smash hit musical currently dominating…
My inner voice is an asshole. For as long as I can…
Hey there, I’m new to pandemics, and let me just say, I’m…
So, my friend invited me to a Better Than Ezra concert. She said something…
There is much debate about the worst stage of parenting. Is it…
Love it! We have 7 kids….the other night, my husband said “someday, they’ll all be grown & gone & you’ll look back on these days and say…. ‘man, I did a lot of laundry!’ “
Back when I met you in education (higher),
Your wit was apparent (a skill I admire);
I thought I was funny (but you were on fire),
The questions been settled (your sense of humor is dryer)!